A Personal and Difficult Confession

Perhaps it’s time that I own up to the truth. Or maybe it’s not? Just the same, I feel compelled.

Most of you know me as a mild-mannered minister that has, for the past twelve years, served as Senior Minister of the Southeast Church in Friendswood, Texas. But there is another side to me.

Have you squirreled out my secret? If not, then I’m going to tell you. But please, don’t go berserk. Tell yourselves, “I will not stage a nutty.” As a good friend often tells me,

“It’s okay, it’s fine, everything is going to be fine.” 

Well, here it is.

For the past thirty-seven years, I have been the owner and CEO of the Fyffes Pineapple Company. Also known as Fyffes Gold or Super Sweet Gold. My product from Costa Rica and my global business center is located in Ireland:

Fyffes International

The Ramparts, Dundalk, Co. Louth, Ireland

I appear to be just another neighbor in a middle-class neighborhood, but actually, I’m far more, and I’m worth millions.

Anyway, since my product is now in major grocery chains across America, I figured it was just a matter of time until someone put it together.

The horizontal “5” on the right stands for something, but I don’t know what. Also, we call it Fyffes Gold, but as you know, pineapple is more yellowish. Not sure why we went down that golden avenue. As CEO, I should probably look into such things, but hey, who has the time?

Well, there you have it. The cat is out of the bag. I don’t know who put the cat in the bag, or why, but the hairy little fur-ball is out now.

To Close

Of course, none of the above is true except for my being the Minister of the Southeast Church of Christ.

Hey, you should visit us when we return to live on September 13. As always, we will offer two services for your convenience, 8:30 and 10:45. Consider it a personal invitation. Wasn’t that slick how I worked that in?

You’ll be glad you came, and that’s not one of Slick Rick’s stories. It’s the truth.

Shalom