I Love Pets!

AN UPDATE

This is an important update, almost a retraction, but not quite.

Yesterday morning in 2nd service I was in the middle of my message, just droning on and on as is my way, when I commented about pet ownership. It wasn’t favorable.

Now I’m under siege from those who love their pets and are wondering how they ended in a church with a Minister who hates pets. They will probably call for my resignation or a show of no confidence. Pet owners are serious people. 

FOR THE RECORD

I don’t dislike pets, I’m not a hater. Over the years the following hairy little critters have shared our space:

  • a Golden Retriever named Mitzi 
  • a Dachshund named Spot
  • Shatera the cat
  • Peaches the cat
  • Newman the cat
  • Merlin the Cat 
  • Various unnamed fish in a bowl
  • Fritz the parakeet (that may not have been his name)
  • a hamster named Fluff Ball or something 

Our years of pet ownership spans 1979 to 2017 or 38 happy, wonderful, fun filled years.

Happy Wonderful and Fun

But now, we are pet free. My wife would like another dog, and maybe another cat. We had a cat named Merlin (see picture below) who we donated to our son when we were selling our home.

Merlin and I struggled. Ours was not a peaceful, happy relationship. He chose to urinate on every horizontal surface that I usually sit or sleep on, multiple times. 

 

fullsizer
Merlin wearing a tie, it’s Office Merlin. He belongs to our son now. I don’t believe in dressing pets. 

LET ME BE CLEAR

In general, I have nothing against pets or anyone who has them. In fact, I love animals and enjoy watching Animal Planet. I like those shows about the cute, adorable puppies and the super-cute playful kitties. So sweet. 

But after 38 years I called it quits. Here are just a few of things I miss the most:

  1. every corner of the house being confused with a litter box
  2. puppies who required months to house train, if lucky
  3. the bird that tormented the cat (some epic battles between the species) 
  4. a cat bringing dead birds, lizards, mice and a few snakes into the house
  5. an 85 pound dog that ate more than I did
  6. a squeaky hamster wheel that no safe and harmless lubricants could silence
  7. visits to the vet, followed by follow up visits to the vet, and then more visits
  8. cats with snarky, snooty attitudes who got more attention than I did 
  9. cleaning up the back yard even though I was promised I would never have to. 

That’s probably enough of what I miss most. 

TO CLOSE

The Golden Retriever was my daughter’s dog and the two of them were best friends. Actually, I was really glad about that. My son likes cats, he finds them cool and interesting. His cat Newman terrorized animals and humans alike, but he sure was entertaining. Frankly, I’ve never found fish easy to connect with emotionally, or hamsters or parakeets. But we had them. 

I don’t hate animals or despise pets, I’ve simply retired. It was time.

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