In Monday’s blog, Overcoming Loss, Part One I mentioned losing my teddy bear Charlie. He would he never be replaced, but there were new things to look forward to. Can we look forward to new things when the losses are more significant?
Loss is when we give our best effort and still lose. It’s about relationships broken by death or conflicts. Another kind is when we lose ourselves.
THREE KINDS OF LOSS
1. LOSS OF PEOPLE
The toughest loss is losing someone: a dearly loved spouse, one of our kids, a heartbreaking divorce.
Recovering is about the stages of recovery. There are five of them and it’s helpful to know about them, take a look:. https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
Establishing a new normal will take time, even years, and the first will be the hardest. It’s hard because the person can never be replaced. But maybe there are other people to love and who love you. There may yet be something to look forward to.
2. LOSS OF SUBSTANCE
- Losing a job can feel like death. It’s not unusual for unemployed people to grieve as if someone has died.
- Professionals say it takes one month of searching for every $10,000 earned. If you are tying to replace a $100,000 position then it could take a year to find it. That can be very discouraging and financially difficult.
- The lost job will never be restored. But it wasn’t the only job, there may yet be a new position even better than the last one.
3. LOSS OF SELF
- Losing yourself is losing self-respect, dignity, even integrity and character. Those losses are hard to accept and challenging to repair. It’s because they come out of your soul and ripped from your heart.
- Reclaiming yourself isn’t easy. You may want to consider professional assistance. But there is good news. Unlike the first two kinds of losses, the loss of self can be restored. You have heart, a soul and determination. You can get better!
Don’t give up on God. If you are angry with him then tell him about it and get work to get that relationship where it needs to be. He is a fine companion when we are hurting.
Read/listen to good books. Find encouragement, helpful information and motivation.
Establish a schedule and stick with it. Don’t binge Netflix eight hours a day. Determine each day the time you will spend job searching. Maybe find some friends to have coffee with and socialize. Keep up the house and yard. Stay busy. Be productive. Pray.
THINK ABOUT IT
After Jesus was resurrected the apostle Peter returned to Galilee to fish. Not for recreation but to resume his commercial fishing business. Fishing wasn’t his destiny, but until he figured that out he stayed busy and productive.
A key difference between believers and unbelievers is this: believers hurt and grieve just like unbelievers, but people of faith have someone greater than themselves . I would rather grieve having the Holy Spirit in my life then grieve without him.
Loss is a huge topic. I pray something I’ve written has been helpful. So, from a veteran of loss to those who may be starting:
Don’t give up, keep looking for a better day, it will come.