The Troubled Parent, Pt 2

Five Parenting Myths:

  1. Everybody gets it but me.

No, everybody doesn’t. It’s easy to believe that other parents have somehow grasped the secret, have figured out the plan, and have the inside track. But the fact is that all parents struggle, even if it doesn’t seem like it on the surface. Don’t get down on yourself.

  1. My kids are more difficult than other kids.

No, they probably aren’t. There are kids with special needs and kids with behavioral challenges, and they require special attention. Some kids are compliant and some are strong willed. But in general, kids are kids and they each have their own issues. Try not to be discouraged, everybody struggles with raising kids. 

  1. Seems like my children should be farther along.

Maybe, but maybe not. A common frustration is thinking a child should be more mature, or better developed emotionally, or moving past behavior challenges. If there are specific problems, then special attention may be necessary. But understand that kids will be developing all the way through high school. And it’s slow, slow, slow. So Don’t give up. 

  1. It’s not the quantity of time, but the quality that matters most.

 No, it’s both. Every parent struggles with how much time to give their kids. Single parents working outside the home may struggle most. The myth is that I can spend less time with my kids if the time I spend is focused and good. The quality matters and quantity has to be more than you working in the same room while they watch TV. Do your best to spend as much quality time as you can with your children. It’s a great investment. 

  1. My child said that he hates me and I wonder if he does.

No, he doesn’t. Kids can be ugly to their siblings and to their parents. Hate is a word parents hate to hear. But typically, a child who is upset or feeling left out, will say hateful things just to be hurtful. It comes from their inability to process disappointment. They feel blocked because they can’t have what they want. It’s emotional immaturity. Unless it’s constantly occurring, the best approach is to not over react. Often, a child will come and apologize, feeling badly for what was said. So, hang in there.

For Parents

 Each child is a unique recipe of personality and behavior. Parenting can be beautiful, but it can also break your heart, frustrate you into the stratosphere, and seem overwhelming.


To Close.

Starting at birth a child is continually moving towards independence. Parenting is about shaping that independence, to prepare a child to enter the world. And it’s a tough job. So, hang tough, try not to get discouraged, and don’t give up.

You are the best thing that ever happened to them.

To be continued…

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