I have had moments of deep angst and anger at God.
“I’m So Mad At You God”
“Why would you?” “How could you?” “You could have done something!” “You could have intervened and now I’m so angry with you.”
I think of those as, “Martha Moments.” Remember when she ran out to Jesus to ask why he didn’t come to heal her brother? Was she confused, frustrated, angry?
Some of my Angry-at-God moments were about losses in the family. Some were the deaths of close friends. Some were about the brutality, violence, and emptiness of loss.
Dealing With My Anger
Some cultures are more open with their emotional pain. They express honesty towards God that our culture considers disrespectful or blasphemous. “Who am I to rail against the Lord?” We have a fearful sense of God for he is mighty and capable of wrathful judgment.
“It’s a terrible thing to fall into the hands of an angry God.”
But we should rethink that perspective. We should be respectful, yet honest. We should praise him and give thanks in all circumstances, but be open about our challenges and hard emotions, even when they are about him. He isn’t petty. He isn’t mean-spirited.
Suggestions About Our Anger With God
- Honesty: you have to be honest. When feeling angry with God you need to admit it, to own it, so you can process and deal with it.
- Dealing With It: after admitting your anger with God, you need to discover where those emotions are really coming from. An effective method is to honestly answer some key questions:
- What did God do, or not do, that resulted in my being angry with him?
- Do I really blame God or has it just become easier to make it his fault?
- Has God promised to insulate me from pain, suffering, or death?
- Isn’t anger one of the stages of grief; am I in the anger stage now?
- Do I believe he loves me or do I believe he’s turned against me?
Depending on your answers, you are ready to either move forward with God or to seek counsel to resolve some specific issues. I suggest consulting with a wise and insightful friend, a minister, or a faith based counselor.
- Moving Forward: find a moment to talk to God. Tell him how angry you have been over the death of the person you loved so dearly. If needed, ask his forgiveness. He knows, he understands, and he won’t hold a grudge!
Maybe you need to stand with your face towards God, with your fists in the air, and at the top of your lungs let him hear your pain, tell him how angry you have been. Share the pain until the hurt turns to tears. Then weep till there’s nothing left but calm, and allow the calm to ease your mind and to fill your heart. I’ve done this before, more than once.
To Close Out
I know. These are complicated and deeply personal things deserving more than what these meager words can offer.
But please, don’t stay angry. Unresolved anger turns into bitterness. And bitterness will burn your soul. Your relationship with God is too important to allow acidic bitterness to dissolve your faith.
Hang in there. You are tougher than you think. Believe.
God Bless You.