What does it mean to heal? Is it feeling better, moving past the gut-wrenching pain of grief and loss? Is it returning to a place of normalcy?
Levels Of Loss
Loss causes grief and grief causes pain. But it’s been my experience that the pain is somewhat relative to the loss.
Examples of Loss
- A Pet
- An old Friend
- Extended family
- Grandparents
- Parents
- A child
- Your spouse
Categorizing Grief?
We shouldn’t categorize grief; it just complicates our pain. Nor should we judge the pain of others. We recognize that some losses are tougher than others, and harder to recover from. The hardest losses are the sudden, unexpected ones, with a phone call. They tear the soul and rip the heart.
Sometimes grief is like being on fire and sometimes it’s sunburn. The former may destroy us while the latter is painful, but not debilitating.
Healing?
I’ve lost a parent, a brother, a brother-in-law, grandparents, extended family, best friends, and a baby that died in delivery.
How then should we heal? There are stages of grief and I believe they should be acknowledged, understood, and processed. That sounds more academic than personal, just the same.
Some Suggestions About Healing:
- Don’t blindly hope that the pain goes away, it doesn’t. Think of it as slowly receding into the background, becoming less dominant, not so overwhelming.
- It doesn’t betray the memory of your loved one to move forward with life. You will laugh again and have fun and enjoy people, and you should.
- Some days are better. Some days aren’t. It’s normal.
- Grief recovery is measured in months, not weeks or days.
- A lack of energy, desire, and motivation is normal, but it gets better.
- Millions have experienced loss, of all kinds. It doesn’t deaden your pain, but it’s helpful to realize that your’s isn’t an isolated experience.
- Like the body needing time to recover from illness or injury, the mind and soul need time to rest. You can’t rush the healing, fix the pain, or alter the experience. But you can believe that a brighter day is coming, because it is.
And Finally
Healing in the hard times?
Healing is resting and recovering. It’s gives you time to accept and adjust to a new normal of happiness. Healing is finding your way back to the person you once were, and wish to be again.
God Bless You
