An Odd Thing
It’s uncommon for the good folks of Doofus County to take vacations. Life there is so laid-back and unproductive that going somewhere to relax would just be odd.
Here’s What Happened
One day my Uncle Unky went over to the Food & Such to pick up some frozen pizzas for Chunky. (Chunky is a raccoon and is Unky’s best and closest friend.)
As he walked into the store it suddenly went nilly-willy. The lights flickered, a balloon came down, and it was pandemonium. The manger rushed up and congratulated Unky on being the 700th Food & Such shopper! A grand prize came with the prestigious honor.
Well, Unky was just undone and he nearly lost his teeth. The prize was an all expenses paid trip to the Colorado Mountains. Unky was flummoxed, as he had never been outside of Doofus County, except for that one time when he had to appear in court for Chunky’s drunk and disorderly charge.
The grand prize package included:
- A seat on a charter bus.
- A voucher for a bag of piggy puffs and a lime soda.
- Overnight accommodations for one for one night.
- Coupons to local fast food places.
- A voucher to visit a local dumpster frequented by bears.
It just bedazzled Unky as he had always wanted to see a bear.
In his jubilation Unky shouted, “Oh boy, me and Chunky is going to see the bears.” Then the hard reality of being a major award winner hit him. The Food & Such manager said, “Sorry Unky, but the trip is just for one, Chunky will have to stay home.”
Unky was crestfallen. For the second time in three minutes he nearly lost his teeth.
He said, “I can’t leave Chunky behind, he’s my best and closest friend.”
NOTE: The family has some concerns about Unky and Chunky’s relationship. But if he makes Unky happy, then we say good for Chunky.
Well, the manager wasn’t backing down; and the Food & Such sure wasn’t paying an extra $17.25 so a raccoon could have a seat on the bus. And he was pretty sure that the bus driver wouldn’t allow a raccoon to get on anyway. So poor old Unky took his grand prize envelope of coupons and vouchers and sadly shuffled home.
Then Genius Fell
About a quarter mile from home, Unky felt something like a blow to the head. It was an idea. He would sneak Chunky on the bus and the two of them would go together. It was pure genius!
It was to be a trip of a lifetime. Unky would get to see the dumpster bears and Chunky would get to eat the garbage. It was a win-win.
Colorado mountains here we come!
To be continued…
Look For Part Two of “Unky and Chunky’s Big Vacation”