Yard Of The Month!

ODD FOR A BLOG

Here is an odd thing. Last week we had a new toilet installed in our master bathroom. 

WHAT EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW

What everyone is now wondering is this:

                                         “What did you do with the old toilet?” 

I know. If I were reading this blog that’s precisely what I would be asking:

                                 “I wonder what he did with that old toilet?”

The obvious answer would be that we had the installer haul off the old one. Sure, that would makes sense.

IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE

Here’s what didn’t make sense. The installer charged a significant fee to haul off the old one. By significant, I mean that it was too much and I told him so.

THE OBVIOUS CHOICE

So the obvious choice was to put the thing out on the curb to be picked up on trash day.

The installer asked if I needed his help to get it out to the curb. I said no thank you, since he would have likely added a handling fee. But I did ask him this question:

                                                  “Would you like to have it?”

He just looked at me and said:

                                              “Why would I want an old toilet?” 

A GOOD QUESTION

It was a good question. Sure, why would he want an old toilet? So I paid him for the installation, chatted a minute, and off he went. 

I wrangled the old toilet out the door, down the driveway, and parked it close to the curb. Those things weigh a ton. With my newly wrenched back and a bit of irritation I washed up and waited for Danielle to come home to see the shiny new toilet. (Actually, it gleamed more than shined.)

Danielle came in but before saying hi, or kissing me hello, she asked this:

                       “You’re not leaving that old toilet by the curb are you?”

Turns out she had some women coming over for a meeting of some sort and wasn’t pleased about the toilet greeting them as they arrived. 

Uh Huh.

She wanted to know if I would put it in the garage. Then she asked if I could put a trash bag over it, this was after seeing the look on my face regarding her question about putting it in the garage. 

So, I took the new toilet box, along with three full trash bags, and did my best to pile it on and around the old toilet. I even had a trash bag inside of it. Finally, that unseemly eye sore was hidden from view.

My sweet wife wasn’t fully convinced. I understood, but then asked this question:

                        “Would you like me to turn it into a yard decoration?”

     

The box and trash bags turned out to be sufficient after all, and thus ends the story. 

A FINAL THOUGHT

Fellas, take it from me, pay the guy and have it hauled off.