Shopping, Really?

Opening Thought

Last Saturday, I had the fantastic privilege of shopping with my wife, for 2.5 hours, in a big box home store, for 2.5 hours. At one point, I was dumbfounded as to why we hadn’t packed a lunch. I asked the manager if it was okay to have a pizza delivered. It wasn’t.

Some Perspective


Typically, men don’t like shopping with women. Some reasons:

  1. Men find shopping to be totally boring.
  2. Men lack the fundamental endurance to keep up with a shopping woman.
  3. It’s brutal.

Psychology Today surveyed 2,000 couples about shopping, some results:

  1. Men get bored after 26 minutes
  2. 80% of men don’t like shopping/45% try to avoid it
  3. Half the shopping outings end in arguments. Why? Men find what they want, buy it, and are ready to leave. Women shop in several stores, require more time to make a decision, then go back to the first store to buy it. 

It’s madness.


My Personal Perspective

There is too much stuff for sale. Stores should be regulated for size and limited to the number of items they offer. Let’s cut the stores in half and reduce the number of items by 60%.

People who work in the stores should be monitored by the government. If they can’t find an item quickly or answer a question intelligently, they should be demoted to the stock room, or resign, or something.

Upon entering the store, customers should be put on the clock. They would have 30 minutes to shop and at the 29th minute, an alarm would go off and security would escort them to their vehicles.

PERSONAL NOTE: These perspectives may be a tad harsh. But tough times call for tough measures. I’m not kidding around here. Something has to be done.

Some Final Thoughts

I love my wife and I’m generally happy to do whatever she likes. But when it comes to shopping, well, I’ve put my foot down, and then the other foot too, basically, it’s a double foot put down.

I haven’t shopped in a mall in years. And if it wasn’t for the power tools in the big box home stores, then I wouldn’t much enter those either.

Don’t hate me for telling the truth. Someone had to do it. Does that make me a philistine? Am I a cave dwelling neanderthal?

Some More Final Thoughts

Speaking of caves, I love my home theater room. I love all the little lights and the remotes and the big booming sound. It’s awesome.

In fact, just last week I was in one of the big electronics stores looking at the 80″ 4K and Ultra High Def TV’s, I mean wow!

I could’ve been there all day! They have the coolest stuff and lots of it.


However, I maintain that shopping is the worst.

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